Our Love Story Part 2

2009

He was gone. I barely heard from him. It was months before I knew he was ok. It was hard. I had gotten so use to him being apart of my life and then he was gone. We left things sort of unofficial. I wasnt waiting for him. We just didnt know what would happen in the next few months. His biggest fear was having one more person worrying about him and missing him. 

October 2008

I got home from school and logged on Facebook as usual. I realized it was his birthday so I posted a quick happy birthday to his wall. I was not expecting much if anything at all from him in return. A few weeks later I was doing my homework when I heard the distinct sound that someone had sent me a message. It was from him. My heart dropped. I was so relieved to finally hear from him but I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I had some pretty big news to tell him and I was terrified. 

I was pregnant. 

Every time I tried typing the e-mail to ask him to call me it just felt so wrong. I didn't want to add to his stress. I didn't know what he was dealing with over there and I was scared. I had already made my choice to raise my child. On my own if I needed to. We had talked about our futures together. But never thought it would be happening so soon. 

We were just chatting back and forth on AIM. (Back when it was still cool) He asked I was doing and it just came out. I told him. I cant remember the words I used or what I said exactly all I know is all of a sudden he went offline. He was gone. I checked Facebook and he was gone. The words offline stung. I hadn't prepared myself for this. I hadn't prepared for any reaction from him.

I immediately got the computer and just crawled into my moms bed and cried. 

The next day I logged on and wrote the longest message of my life. I told him I was sorry for how I told him. I told him I wasn't sure how to tell him. I told him my plans. I told him it was his choice and I wouldn't force anything on him. I sent my phone number just in case and hit send. 

It was early November and I hadn't heard anything from him for three weeks. I had just gotten home from work and was laying in bed when my phone rang. It was a strange 7 digit number. I ignored it. They left a voicemail. I listened. "hey its scott answer this number"

My phone rang again. My voice shaky I answered "uhm, hello"

USMC Ball 2010

He asked if i had gotten his e-mail yet. I immediately got up and ran to the computer and their it was. An e-mail from him sent the night before. Explaining why he "disappeared on me"

While we were chatting something happened on base and communication then was shut down. Immediately after they left for a mission and he had just returned the night before. He tried calling me but he couldn't get through. He felt so bad and kept apologizing for how I must of felt. 

We got off the phone and he told me to "sign in". 

He got online and started talking. He wanted all the details of our child. He kept asking how I was feeling. If I needed anything, did I want anything. He admitted he was in shock but he was excited. (He did have almost a month to process the news) 

From then on I would send him my updates and sonograms from my checkups. We talked about what our next step would be. We knew we had a deep "like" for eachother but I was hesitant. 

My parents were seperated and were going through the starts of a divorce. 

I was dealing with so much that I didnt want to deal with any rejection that may come from a man I had thought I would marry. 

2009

He was so incredible and amazing during the deployment. He never once pushed any choices on me. He was understanding and compassionate. He constantly asked about me and our baby.  I felt so loved and so content with how things were. 

I was terrified to admit that I was feeling that L word. It scared me to death. I was hormonal and was worried that I was mistaking feelings and couldn't think what that would mean for me if it wasn't real.

Then one day it changed. 

I went to the doctor's for a standard 7 month check up. My doctor was concerned because baby hadn't grown as much as She should have.(Yes she...I'll get there). He wanted to do an ultrasound. I was so nervous. I immediately thought the worst and started rehearsing what I would tell scott. Thankfully baby was just fine and healthy. But I received a huge shock. Yes, our little girl was indeed a boy. As soon as I got home I e-mailed scott the news. He quickly responded. We were thrilled. We were chatting online and he asked what we wanted to do about our child's last name. We had quickly picked out his frist and middle and now the last name. I responded that normally children take on the last name of their father. He quickly responded and said "ok, great. And maybe one day the three of us will all share my last name" My heart melted. I will aways remember reading that sentence.