Faith

My story is simple. I think.

I grew up Mormon. Church every sunday. With my family. Mom & Dad and two sisters. I am the middle of three girls. We sat in our pew. To the right of the chapel, about five or six rows back. The youngest and oldest in first, then my mom and dad then me. It was routine. It was familiar.  I remember going and sitting in the chapel, and in sunday school. I don't remember much more than that.  

In high school we went to Seminary. Every (almost) day 6:30 AM I went to church. To learn about the scriptures. I remember some mornings being much harder than others to be there. I remember the one time I got yelled at in front of class for watching a show that the teacher thought was inappropriate... (I think it was desperate housewives) I was mortified. She scolded me in front of the class and went on forever about how terrible it was. That was my first taste of the overly judgmental culture. And I HATED it.  When I was pregnant and over heard two of the mothers I grew up with one of them being my friend's mom talking about me and whispering as I sat 6 months pregnant next to my mom in sunday school class my heart broke. This is probably the time I would of needed my "church family" the most and all it did was push me farther away from the judgement. I wanted to feel supported and feel like those I once admired had compassion for me and loved me anyways. That never happened. (With the exception of FEW people who I can count and name who I will forever grateful for the love and support they have and continue to give)

I struggle constantly with the views of the church and for many reasons no longer attend traditional services or any service really. I am completely happy with this decision. I am completely happy with where I am in my life and with my faith. I am constantly searching and asking and learning in an attempt to grow and build my relationship and my faith.

I struggled for most of my teen years on my beliefs and what those were. As a now 24 year old adult there are a few things I believe.

I believe there is a God. I believe he sent his Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. I do believe I am a Daughter of God. I do believe Christ died for my sins and the sins of all man. I do believe we can be forgiven for our sins if we repent. I do believe my relationship with God is personal. I do believe that God as my creator is also the ONLY one who can judge and condemn me. I do believe that my father in heaven wants me to return to him and I do believe I can. I do believe I will be with my family in Heaven when this life is over And thats all I know to be true. And for now this is what I do know. This is a journey that will be constant for me. I know it will be evolving and I am excited where it will take me as I continue to move forward.