What I have learned.

I was determined to come out of the other side of this deployment stronger, and better then I was when it started. I had things I was going to accomplish personally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I wanted to take this time to grow personally so I could be the best wife and mother I could possibly be.(Although I know this will always be a  continuing process.)

I seemed to discover something about myself that I didn't understand completely about myself before. I guess when you have lots of time to think to yourself...or in my case talk to yourself your learn a few things about yourself...I started to keep a list. Some of them are a little silly, some are things I always knew and some are completely new. Either way...I learned some things.

I learned...

...I enjoy reading for pleasure.

...I love being a mama and a wife.

...I am perfectly content being home with my son then out alone any day or night of the week.

...I can go to the store all by myself and not by everything I really really want.

...when I really want to I can force myself to lace up my sneakers and burn some calories...I even proved I can lose weight...when I work for it.(Too bad I have to work for it...)

...I make an amazing hot fudge sauce. I guess I am not as bad of a cook as I thought.

...I love learning.

...I love being creative. Crafting is relaxing.

...I can handle things on my own, but it is ok to ask for help, when I need it.

...I hate sleeping alone.

...I hate days that don't start with a prayer and nights that don't end with scriptures.

...I can talk to husband about anything, no matter how stupid or important and he understands.

...when I get really stressed/overwhelmed cleaning and lady gaga make me happy.

...my son's laugh can turn my sob fest into a happy moment.

...it is okay to spend five minutes just crying to husband only because he called just because he thought I needed to hear that he loved me. (It is true I really did need to hear it that day.)

...not to believe everything I hear.

....trust is earned not just given out and it can be taken away rather easily.

...I don't trust easily.

...I may not get along with everyone...not everyone will like me...and I DON"T care. (Seriously this is big for me)

...life is never perfect but it has these amazingly beautiful moments that make everything worth it.

...getting a random sunflower surprise made me cry harder then...well a lot of other moments.

...husband is absolutely perfect for me. He truly is my other half.

There was more. A lot more. I have two pages. But there is just a taste...

Some days were hard. Really really hard. I hated those days. Then there were days that fly by, that were just easy. I love those days. Without those bad days...I couldn't cherish the good ones. I am grateful for what this deployment has taught me. About myself, about husband, about us together. There may be some bad days, some bitter moments...but there are a ton of beautiful sweet moments.

I have always loved this quote. It was my Afghanistan deployment motto 2009-2010. :)

Because without the bitter, baby, the sweet ain't as sweet.(Vanilla Sky)